Why You Feel Lonely in Your Marriage and How to Deal With It? When you take the plunge, marry the “one” – your life partner – you may think that you are ready for life, that you have married your best friend, right? The tune Paul McCartney says, “Not any more forlorn evenings”. But sadly this is not necessary. Loneliness in marriage affects millions of couples worldwide. And this is where at least one partner, usually a woman, feels emotionally abandoned.
What Is Loneliness In Marriage?
Marriage and loneliness do not seem like two words that should go hand in hand. Nevertheless, it often happens. Loneliness is real for many couples. At this point, you may be wondering why this is so – why you and/or your partner are experiencing loneliness in your marriage – the marriage you had imagined would be your safe haven.
It may be that your one-time connection has disappeared, or at least has become so dim that it is barely noticeable. Possibly, throughout the long term, your correspondence has gotten straightforwardly pugnacious and antagonistic. What began as frequent small flares changed over time into big shocks. And to avoid those destructive conversations, you stop talking altogether.
Lack of emotional intimacy – which in some cases, can lead to extramarital affairs – is another reason you may feel lonely in your marriage. Here is a short video on preventing and surviving infidelity.
In addition, you may feel unsupported by your spouse. In times of high pressure, your partner may not show enough sympathy for your feelings, forcing you to get away and cause a slow erosion of your emotional connection.
5 Reasons why you feel lonely in your marriage
Fear of Your Spouse
If unfortunately, you are married to someone who is emotionally and psychologically abusive, there is no doubt that you are experiencing a long period of loneliness. If you are afraid of your spouse – their aggressive behavior and verbal beating – then you probably spend a lot of time avoiding them or walking on eggshells to prevent any kind of conflict.
To make matters more complicated, during the early years of your marriage, your partner may have separated you from your family and/or friends, making you feel like you have none.
If you want to read more about feeling lonely in an abusive relationship, see the article The Loneliness of The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. This is a very serious reason for being single in marriage and needs to be addressed. Living in terror is no way to live.
2. Lack of emotional support makes
Things happen! Unfortunate situations appear at your door when you least expect them. At that point, you hope that your partner will be present for you – to support you and elevate you when you are down. If repeatedly you do not feel emotionally supported, it can and usually does lead to distance and loneliness in the relationship.
For example, let’s say your 90-year-old father dies. You are devastated because you were so close. But your partner doesn’t say much, and when they do, it’s like, “Well, he led a long life. He’s in a superior spot.” You would prefer not to hear the basic banality..” You do not want to hear the common cliché. You want to feel that you have an anchor in your time of grief.
If that emotional support from your marriage has disappeared and your partner has consistently failed to show more compassion or empathy, then you can clearly see how it will spoil the relationship and sprout the seeds of loneliness in your marriage.
What will happen in the article if there is no emotional support in the relationship? the practice of giving emotional support provides a foundation to be able to kindly resolve conflict, see your partner from a place of reality, and connect with each other safely. ”
3. Any sexual intimacy No
How frequently do you engage in sexual relations with your companion? In marriages where one or both partners are single, rarely couples fall in love or take time to bond. Also, small displays of affection such as a good morning kiss, a caress on the shoulder, a pinch on the back, etc. that may have occurred regularly when you first meet together, completely Maybe invisible.
Those presentations of warmth may appear to be inconsequential, however, they are not. They are the precursors of sexual intimacy. If you are not experiencing any of these, chances are you are feeling lonely.
“Simple moments of touch between spouses are an invitation to miss the gift of a shared life. A kiss. A hug. A grasp on the shoulder armed forces us to slow down even for a few moments. They notice us. Allows to do and pay attention to. These PDA moments land and fuel us, “Jenny LeBhoff in her article Public displays of affection are good for your marriage and family.
4. Absence of quality time
If you and your spouse see each other 20 minutes a week between taking kids to soccer and ballet and scheduling hard work, loneliness can set a hard mortice. is. Being absent is one of the ways couples lose contact with each other.
Why is the quality time necessary? According to Jane Om, “This is because no matter how much you know each other, over time, their changing interests, passions, aspirations, and even friends or foes will have to be discovered. Something new is effective. Communication and quality time together play a major role in maintaining a relationship, preventing it from becoming boring.
It is not necessary for each other to block large chunks of time, although this would be good. But It is important that the time you carve up is momentous. It allows you to be actively involved in each other’s lives. All the little things get added to the big things. They make a life!
6. Older wounds that have never healed In
In some cases, cracks occur due to premarital wounds that have not healed before.
I treat a couple who have been married for six years and are currently experiencing this exact situation. At the beginning of their marriage, the young man’s mother intervened and intervened, harassing the wife and causing them to remain separated for months. Finally, the mother-in-law apologizes, and now things seem to be healing, but the old scars remain.
The young man feels trapped between his wife and mother’s relationship. He is constantly feeling that he needs to take sides. This adds to his feelings of loneliness in the marriage as he doesn’t feel like he can talk to his wife or mother about his feelings without shaking the hornet’s nest.
The partner has to heal old wounds to move forward in marriage. The sufferings of the past must be resolved and kept where they are – in the past!
How to overcome loneliness in marriage
Here are some things you can do to avoid feeling lonely in your marriage and to improve your relationship.
Set Weekly Dates
A wedding in which couples do something fun with each other weekly does not leave much room to feel lonely in that marriage. The relationship remains strong. They are constantly updated about each other’s lives, and they have something every week.
“Social researchers have discovered that ladies who invest at any rate one energy seven days with their companion” couple time “in excess of multiple times in their marriage.
So, go and plan that date!
Talk, talk, talk! One
of the biggest problems in relationships where one or both parties feel lonely is a lack of communication. The couple has stopped talking. They are too busy to live their personal and important lives and have neglected their relationship, thinking that it is going for themselves. Deep down to keep the relationship active and healthy. Negotiation is essential.
It’s the Little Things
When you think of doing something to improve your marriage to prevent you from feeling lonely, you might think that it must be a grand gesture. that is not the case. Continually doing small things for each other shows that you care about each other.
For example, filling their water bottle, having a cup of coffee for them, laying down the bed, making a bed, etc. are small things that show love. Those acts of service add great signs of love.
If you are ready to make a bed in your bedroom and it is already made for you, how can you feel lonely? I am sure you are not going to feel lonely. You are about to smile and feel grateful for the good gesture.
Show understanding, compassion, and respect In
When there is unity, how can there be loneliness in that marriage? it can not.
If you treat each other with kindness and respect – by all means to each other – no one will feel unheard, which eventually makes people feel lonely.
Treat your spouse like you would with your best friend. Spend time, and show love. Respect who those people are. Do things to show love to them — regularly, not just on Valentine’s Day or their birthday. Every day is a superior day to work on your relationship. And if you do, loneliness won’t be able to hold its breath.
Have a Hobby Together
If you and your partner spend time doing something that you both love, you will not feel alone.
For example, work out together or find a hobby that you both can enjoy. It can put together a big puzzle, play a board game, or maybe it is a long bike ride on the weekend, hiking on a scenic trail, favorite movies together or watching the show, then talking about it, going on a walk, and sharing highlights of your day. These are all fun ways you can move your marriage forward.
The Bottom Line
Your marriage does not include loneliness. If there are problems that are causing loneliness – except for number 1, “fear of spouse”, which is serious enough and may need to leave the relationship – address those issues. Couple counseling can be a life-saver, or you can start implementing the suggestions above and notice how your marriage suddenly starts to flourish.
Remember, before anything happens, you have to have a conversation with your spouse. They may not be aware that you are feeling lonely in your marriage. Talk about it! Then, see what measures can be taken to eliminate those feelings of isolation.
If you both love each other, and even better, like each other, there will be a desire to make things better. Then, all that is left is working. And with it, you can have quite a fun adventure!
Read More: How to Stop Overthinking Every Little Thing