How to Stop Taking Things too Personally and Seriously? Taking things personally is often a byproduct of this bargaining. At the point when we think about things literally, we are giving sure people more control over us than they merit or ought to never be permitted to. Basically, you are allowing someone to ask you what you feel and believe.
Instead of relying on what you know about yourself, you are relying on someone else to be who you are; Which really defines you as a person without any outside influence. To put it plainly, thinking about things literally keeps you attached to another person and, in the limit, can cause you to feel like a casualty.
Instead of just reacting when someone pushes your buttons, here are some things to consider when you find yourself caught in an interaction/confrontation in which you feel your personal integrity is being challenged.
5 Ways to Stop Taking Things Personally
Focus on what this relationship really means to you
How heavily are you investing in this person? Do you need to always agree, no wave, move along to please this person, and keep the peace? Do you think you may have to pay a heavy price if you disagree or challenge them? Do you really need this person’s approval? Is all the trouble in keeping them happy, as they challenge you, really worth the effort?
Change the focus of the conversation by putting yourself in this person’s shoes
Attempt to get what the other individual is feeling/thinking/trying to pass on… Is this how they interact with multiple people? Is this their normal way of criticizing, insulting, blaming, or embarrassing? The person may not have mastered communicating in a healthy way. Perhaps they lack certain social skills and feel that they will be heard and noticed only by being harsh or aggressive in their language or bullying to get their way. Perhaps they have issues with relationships in general, with boundaries, with seeing things as all good or bad, right or wrong.
Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly when you’re being confronted
Don’t make assumptions about judgment or criticism directed at you. Maybe it’s not about you at all, but about them and their own perceived assumptions. Indeed, it is quite often about them, their issues, their requirements, and their longing to control you as well as a circumstance.
One consequence of this is knowing what makes you feel insecure. When you are aware of your sensitive places, the things that trigger your feelings and reactions, you can prepare yourself if a conversation arises that tries to charm you.
Create a space between yourself and your reactions
Your initial reaction may be to react emotionally. If possible, don’t follow that knee-jerk reaction. Take the time to rein in your emotions and assess what’s really going on before reacting. In general, it’s a good idea to create a healthy personal space around you. (A good scene is to imagine yourself in the middle of a meadow with a white picket fence. This is your space. No one is allowed inside it unless you give them permission to enter give.) when you create a space/buffer between you and. Another person is less likely to cross and/or blur personal boundaries.
When you’re ready, answer to get an explanation
Hopefully, your feelings will backfire when you ask this person to fully explain what’s on their mind and what they want from you. Listen carefully so that you understand what makes sense and what doesn’t are based on their imagination or require you to behave a certain way. Tell them how what they are saying/doing makes you feel. In some cases, they may not realize how aggressive, rude, abusive, bullying, and insensitive they are, or that their words are hurtful and that what they are asking of you is inappropriate. Explain that if the goal of the conversation/confrontation is to compromise then they are going about it the wrong way. Maybe give them some way by suggesting some alternate solution.
If it becomes clear that this person may not respect you and your space and repeatedly insists on creating situations that make you uncomfortable or feel bad about yourself, or attack you personally You need to reconsider the relationship, trying to devalue you and belittle you, and constantly trap you. If it’s a family member, it can be difficult to isolate yourself from them but you can limit your time and the nature of your relationship. If it’s someone else, sever all ties for yourself.
The Last Word
Finally, learn to trust yourself. Of course, relationships will always play a major role in your life. But the more you learn about yourself, the less you need to tell others about yourself. When you develop a life orientation based primarily on your own personal resources rather than external influences, your dependence on outside forces is reduced.
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